Little Blog is sitting in the back of Dad’s car, on the way to gym. Sunshine, her big sister, is with Mom, so Little Blog gets in all the running commentary she can.

First she describes the inside of the car, and asks for an explanation of almost every feature, from the air bags to the air conditioner.

Next, she turns her attention to other cars on the road. She describes each car as it passes in the next lane. One car comes speeding up from behind, zips into the next lane, and zooms into the lane in front of Dad, barely missing his front bumper.

“Idiot!” shouts Dad.

“Why is he an idiot, Daddy?” asks Little Blog.

“Because he could have gone into our car, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “If he goes into another car, will it break the other car?”

Dad: “Yes, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “That’s dangerous!”

Dad: “It sure is, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “And it’s dangerous for children to sit in the front.”

Dad: “Why, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “Because of what will happen if another car breaks your car.”

Dad: “What will happen, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “The beanbag will come out and squash the child.”

(News flash: Chinese government denies rumours of factories producing defective children’s furniture)

The holidays are now far behind us, but Little Blog’s mind is still travelling. She gazes wistfully at the sky as a jet leaves a long, white streak across the blue expanse. Then one of those numerous random thoughts flies across her mind:

“Daddy, do you know why God made the sky so big?”

Dad: “No, Little Blog. Do you?”

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As any parent knows, going on holiday with the children brings with it many a challenge. Little Blog may only be 5, but she fully understands these challenges, and is always ready to make her own contribution, right up to the last minute.

She had decided from the start that, on this holiday, she is responsible for maintenance, repairs and quality control.

“Mommy, I don’t want to complain,” she starts every diagnostic session. And then it’s an evaluation of the furniture, or the lighting, or the light switches, or the view, or anything else that crosses Little Blog’s mind.

As we prepare to vacate the holiday apartment, she provides an analysis of the plumbing:

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Little Blog has a problem with Albert Einstein, and in particular his Special Theory of Relativity, which says (more or less) that time does not pass at a fixed rate for everybody, and that a moving clock appears to tick more slowly relative to an observer with a fixed clock. Little Blog, it appears (to an observer), is a very fast-moving clock, yet time appears to speed up dramatically from her perspective.

It all starts when Little Blog and her big sister, Sunshine, are having a special treat on the last morning of their holiday: they are getting to watch TV before breakfast. But there is one condition: when breakfast is ready, they must stop watching TV.

Unfortunately, they are watching the Disney channel, which is known to stretch out time and mysteriously block children’s ears to the voices of their parents.

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It’s the last day on the beach, and Little Blog has mounted a rebellion.

“I’m NOT building a sandcastle, I’m NOT helping to dig a hole, I’m NOT doing anything with Sunshine today. I’m going to dig my OWN hole.”

“But why, Little Blog?” pleads Sunshine, her big sister. “We can make a MUCH bigger hole if we do it together.”

“And you can make a MUCH bigger sandcastle if you do it together,” says Dad.

This all sounds far too sensible for Little Blog.

“I don’t WANT to.”

“But why, Little Blog?” asks Mom, using the Voice of Reason.

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