Little Blog is sitting in the back of Dad’s car, on the way to gym. Sunshine, her big sister, is with Mom, so Little Blog gets in all the running commentary she can.

First she describes the inside of the car, and asks for an explanation of almost every feature, from the air bags to the air conditioner.

Next, she turns her attention to other cars on the road. She describes each car as it passes in the next lane. One car comes speeding up from behind, zips into the next lane, and zooms into the lane in front of Dad, barely missing his front bumper.

“Idiot!” shouts Dad.

“Why is he an idiot, Daddy?” asks Little Blog.

“Because he could have gone into our car, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “If he goes into another car, will it break the other car?”

Dad: “Yes, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “That’s dangerous!”

Dad: “It sure is, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “And it’s dangerous for children to sit in the front.”

Dad: “Why, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “Because of what will happen if another car breaks your car.”

Dad: “What will happen, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “The beanbag will come out and squash the child.”

(News flash: Chinese government denies rumours of factories producing defective children’s furniture)

Calamity has struck Little Blog. One of her teddy bears is injured and she wants it taken to a “real doctor”.

Mom takes one look at the rip in the teddy’s arm and assures Little Blog that she can fix it with some careful sewing.

“But how do you know how to fix it, Mommy?” asks a desperate Little Blog.

“Well, I’ll try, Little Blog,” says Mom patiently.

Little Blog is dubious: “Mommy, is it like when you had a bad cut and the doctor had to do special sewing?”

“It’s almost like that, Little Blog.”

Little Blog goes off to find her big sister, Sunshine.

“I’m worried about my bear,” she tells Sunshine.

“Why are you worried, Little Blog? Mommy is good at sewing,” Sunshine reassures her.

Little Blog will have none of that: “Mommy isn’t a real doctor, so how can she fix the bear? You need special sewing to fix a bear.”

(Next: Little Blog calls 911)

Little Blog is staring into the mirror.

“Mommy, come look here!”

Mom comes running.

“What is it, Little Blog?”

“Look in my eye, Mommy!”

Mom can’t see anything amiss. “What’s wrong with your eye?” she asks, deeply concerned.

“There’s somebody in my eye!”

“Who is it, Little Blog?”

“It’s me!”

Little Blog has made a terrible discovery: dirty hands can be very bad for you.

“Mommy, do you know what it means if you don’t wash your hands?” she asks after arriving home from school.

Mom: “What happens, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “It means you aren’t looking after your hands and your nails.”

Mom: “That’s right, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “And Mommy, do you know what happens if I don’t look after my nails?”
Read the rest of this entry »

Now Little Blog has a problem with mainstream medicine. Clearly, in her view, the profession is covering up the terrible symptoms that are beginning to emerge for well-known illnesses.

“Daddy, have I had an injection for chicken’s pop?” she asks.

Dad: “No, Little Blog, why do you ask?”
Read the rest of this entry »