Little Blog’s big sister, Sunshine, has discovered chemistry. She found the periodic table in one of her books, and a friend has been explaining to her about the elements and their names.

“O is Oxygen and H is Hydrogen and when you put two Hydrogens with one Oxygen, you get H2O and that is really water,” she explains over supper to Little Blog, who pretends to absorb every word.

Dad decides to show how clever he is: “And H2SO4 is Hydrochloric Acid, which destroys everything it touches.” He hastens to add that he only knows this because of a rhyme he memorised in high school. Before anyone can stop him, he recites it:

“Little Johnny has gone to heaven,
and will be seen no more,
For what he took for H2O,
was H2SO4.”

Little Blog instantly declares: “He was lucky.”

Sunshine is horrified: “Why, Little Blog?!”

Little Blog: “Well, then he wouldn’t have to eat his vegetables, would he?”

Little Blog has been unstoppable since waking up this morning and discovering that South Africa won the rugby World Cup.

“Just like I said they will!” she crows to anyone who will listen.

She also believes that this heralds a new career: “I can tell you who is going to win anything from now on!”

Now everyone wants to test her.

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Little Blog is caught up in the rugby fever. The problem is, her home’s multiple sports allegiances has her a little confused.

Sunshine decides to test her: “Who is going to win the World Cup, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “South Africa, of course!”

Sunshine: “Who are they going to beat, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “Arsenal!”

Dad: “I don’t think so, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “Manchester United!”

Sunshine rolls her eyes.

“It isn’t soccer, Little Blog, it’s rugby. And they have to play against a country.”

Little Blog’s eyes light up: “I know! It’s England!”

Dad: “That’s right, Little Blog. But why should South Africa win the World Cup?”

Little Blog: “Because it was England’s turn last time, so it’s our turn this time. Everyone has to take turns, isn’t it, Daddy?”

Dad: “Not when countries play, Little Blog. There have to be other reasons why we win.”

Little Blog: “I know! It’s because we all support South Africa!”

Sunshine decides it’s time to apply ruthless logic: “But don’t you think all the people in England support England?”

A glint of steel appears in Little Blog’s eyes: “But we support South Africa lots harder than England supports England!”

(Next: Little Blog finds an extra slab of chocolate under her pillow)

Little Blog is sitting in the back of Dad’s car, on the way to gym. Sunshine, her big sister, is with Mom, so Little Blog gets in all the running commentary she can.

First she describes the inside of the car, and asks for an explanation of almost every feature, from the air bags to the air conditioner.

Next, she turns her attention to other cars on the road. She describes each car as it passes in the next lane. One car comes speeding up from behind, zips into the next lane, and zooms into the lane in front of Dad, barely missing his front bumper.

“Idiot!” shouts Dad.

“Why is he an idiot, Daddy?” asks Little Blog.

“Because he could have gone into our car, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “If he goes into another car, will it break the other car?”

Dad: “Yes, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “That’s dangerous!”

Dad: “It sure is, Little Blog.”

Little Blog: “And it’s dangerous for children to sit in the front.”

Dad: “Why, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “Because of what will happen if another car breaks your car.”

Dad: “What will happen, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “The beanbag will come out and squash the child.”

(News flash: Chinese government denies rumours of factories producing defective children’s furniture)

Ever since finding out about this godparent business, Little Blog has had that hatching-a-plot look on her face.

This weekend, she has been asking her big sister, Sunshine, all kinds of questions about her godparents. How much chocolate is in their pantry? Do they go to the beach for holidays? Do they have their own toys? And many more of the same.

Finally, by Sunday evening, her questions subside. In fact, Little Blog seems to have abandoned her intentions of moving out. Sunshine is resigned to never being able to expand her empire beyond one bedroom.

Mom decides to be direct about it: “Do you still want to go live with your godparents, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “No, Mommy, I haven’t got enough time.”

Mom: “Time for what, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “To pack all the toys I want to take with and to make a list of all the new toys I want.”

Mom: “So you aren’t going to live with your godparents after all?”

Little Blog: Well, I won’t need godparents, Mommy.”

Mom: “Why not, Little Blog?”

Little Blog: “Because Sunshine said you will only die of old age in a very long time and then we will be adults and we won’t need godparents anymore, so I don’t need them now.”

(Next: Mom tears up the revised will she had been preparing)